Palin's Speech

04. September, 2008 | by John Moroney

Oh, my, God… She’s AWESOME! So terrifying! She’s the lipstick-wearing pitbull who refuses the rule of law when it comes to protecting her country! She has her supporters chanting: “Drill, baby, drill!” She thinks anyone who wants to meet with enemies is weak! “Fuck coming to terms with our enemies,” she seems to say. “We’ll just shoot first and ask questions later!”

She even hates the Russians!

I quote: “Al Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America … he’s worried that someone won’t read them their rights?”

Yes, motherfucker. WE ALL HAVE LEGAL RIGHTS. ALL OF US. EVERY ONE OF US IS UNDER THE RULE OF LAW. EVEN THE U.S.A.

I’m scared. I think we all have gotten so much dumber in the last eight years. It’s like Halloween every day until November 4, 2008, except that all the devils and gut-eating ghouls are real.

Seriously, though. She is an amazing speaker—incredibly charismatic and genuinely convincing. Please watch this, and watch McCain speak tomorrow night on C-Span. C-Span doesn’t have commentary, which allows the viewer to make up his or her own mind on the speakers and the subjects being discussed. God knows, in that voting booth there is only room for one person.

And, if you can keep your bile down, it’s actually MUCH better than reality TV…

Palin’s speech with complete text

Oh, and P.S., A great drinking game is to take a swig every time Palin makes a reference to Alaska.

Oh, and P.P.S., this woman will most likely be the president of the United States sometime in the next four years. Um, Dear Australia: Can I move there for awhile? Good on ya!